WoW: gender equality & office politics

Since the beginning of time, gender equality has been a massive topic for women.  Even as a 90's kid of about 8/9 years old I wondered why I had to iron the pile of clothes fresh from the washing line then "remember to hang them up straight", while my brother, a year older, played his Sega games undisturbed with a bowl of treats and an Irn Bru to drink. When I asked my mum why she'd answer along the lines of "because you're good at it", "you need to learn how to do these things" or "because I said so".  When probed further, saying how my brother should learn too, her exasperated answer would be, irritatingly, "yours is not to reason why, yours is but to do or die".  Pretty soon I was cooking full meals, being a good little hostess to visitors and, when mum wasn't looking, running the vacuum over my brother's feet or leaving the skin on his boiled potatoes in protest.  As an adult, I know it wasn't a case of poor little Cinderella girl, it was just that my mum had six kids and needed a hand; and I probably did the job ten times better and faster than my brother could have, even if he had tried. And now I know what a fool I was because potato skins are spectacularly delicious.

We'll never know for sure how deeply the difference in treatment has affected us; no one uses another set of kids to use as a control group, do they?  Asking those questions as a kid, though, I think my mum knew I was going to grow up to be feisty and independent. And my brother is a very capable and doting husband and father, so no harm done, right?  It worked out alright for us.

But, after spending a day at the WoW festival in London's Southbank Centre (Women of the World not World of Warcraft.  Please, as if), it brought it home just how hard women still have to work in order to be champions of their trade, or even just respected in the workplace.  I was lucky enough to hear Ruby Wax talk about depression and how it affected her career; Alan Rickman, her co-worker while doing a Shakespeare acting stint, told her to get a grip and sort herself out (only more eloquently) and how she later bit The Man on the ass by rocking up with an MA from Oxford in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, a knowledge she has channelled into her stand-up show and wrote a book about.  Snaps, girlfriend!

I also saw my holy grail of heroines, the straight-talking, clear-thinking, charismatic Dame Vivienne Westwood.  Not just a fierce fashion leader, she's also an active campaigner of social and environmental issues, a believer in equality regardless of race, gender or age and a straight-up, genuine and humble human being. “What can kids do to help with global warming” a little girl from the crowd asked her.  As the rest of the crowd went “awwwwwww”, Dame Viv looked in her the eye and said “the same as adults”.  Brilliant!  You can watch the whole discussion here, hosted by the wonderfully precise Shami Chakrabarti, herself a brilliant role model for women who mean business.

Now I'm not an antagonistic feminist - the kind where women think they're better than men - I'm with Dame Viv.  Everyone should be treated equally regardless of age/sex/location, polka dots or power suit. If you're the right person for the job then that should be enough.

I've worked through the gender inequality in the office where females do the admin, men do the "real work", females get told off for their "mistakes" in view of the whole office, while men get taken to private lunch meetings to strategize over "making equally beneficial changes".  Pffft, come on guys! 

I've learned a lot from surrounding myself with confident, persuasive women and by paying attention to how they carry themselves, their attitude and poise.  Here’s my very basic list of dos and don'ts if you’re to survive the emotion that comes with office politics.

Don’t

• Try to ball-bust everyone just to make your mark. There’s nothing uglier than someone swooping in like a hurricane putting everyone in a spin. 
• Try to progress by holding others back.  You wouldn't want someone to do it to you and, besides, you might need them as an ally one day. 
• Be passive aggressive.  It will aggravate the women and the men will only be confused.
• Talk about someone behind their back.  It will only make others believe that you talk about them too.
• Come to work dressed in last night’s clothes and make up.  If you can’t respect yourself, no one else will either.  If you do have an emergency situation like this, best to acknowledge it and make a joke with your girlfriends. They’ll lift your spirits.

Trick: if you’re worried about a conflict, a presentation or meeting, don’t picture them naked.  Instead, give yourself a little secret; wear your sexiest underwear, the brooch your granny gave you or anything else that makes you feel special and feisty.

Do

• Treat everyone with a high amount of respect regardless of their position in the company. 
• Make an effort to polish yourself up in the morning – a spiffy version of your most comfortable self.  It won’t just make you look professional, it will make you feel like superwoman.  You are what you feel.
• Say what you mean and get straight to the point.  Tip-toeing around an issue will only make you seem passive or weak.
• Make friends with everyone.  There will be people that try to make your life a misery and kick the ladder from under your feet, but plotting revenge or undermining them in retaliation will not do you any favours – even if you think you’ll get away with it.  Giving someone a reason not to kick the ladder from under you allows for much more progression and respect. 
• When kicked down. channel your inner Chumbawamba  and get back up and stay posi.

Trick: If you’re being bullied, stay calm, and don’t be tempted to explain your behaviour. Ask them to explain theirs.  Don’t let it drag on – nip it in the bud as soon as possible.  If the bullying reaches the point where you are depressed, anxious or losing your self-esteem or motivation, have an informal word with them in private, accompanied by an ally.  If all this fails, take it to their manager or an HR rep as soon as possible. 

If we want equality, we have to treat everyone equally – men, women and children, novices, assistants, and CEOs.  With the majority on board, the misogynists will soon disperse.